Someone recently said to me,
"You're lucky you don't have that need or craving to be attached to someone -- like me, who strives to be with someone, and needs to be in a relationship."
I tend to wonder, sometimes, if I really am this person I project myself to be. This girl oozing with self-confidence who doesn't give a damn about how the world works, or what people think. I sometimes wonder if I really am ok with some of the decisions I make, or if it's just this brave front to mask my vulnerability and, at times, naivety.
Is it really confidence? Or is it actually fear?
Yes. We all get scared sometimes -- afraid of what we cannot predict and what we cannot control. I've been blindsided several times before that now, it just seems logical to not let my guard down ever again. It seems easier and just better for my sanity to keep myself distant enough from people who could potentially hurt me.
But, then again, isn't that... everyone? Everyone has the potential to hurt you.
So then what do I do?
The person I was before would never recognize the person I am today. The lost hope, the misguided ideas of relationships, the shattered belief in romance...
Is this what experience does to a person?
I don't quite know where I'm going with this. And lately, that's how I've felt about a lot of things.
It could have been forever but we'll never know...
[24 hours, The Noisettes]
